I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
