i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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