I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
