Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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