mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
