cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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