We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
