some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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