used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You took a bar mat shot.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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