my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
