Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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