Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
