In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
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I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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