I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
