I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
