Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
