yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
