when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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