i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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