went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
