I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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