I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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