Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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