We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
