I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize