How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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