im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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