meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
