Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize