the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
