wake up i wanna do it froggy style
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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