Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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