Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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