Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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