i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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