thus making me awesome and them whores
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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