You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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