i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize