Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
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He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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