I will die if light touches me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
