Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
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I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
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I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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