is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
