And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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