Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
