Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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