i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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