He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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