i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
