i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
