youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
