we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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