the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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