Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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