Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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