i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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