For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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