he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
