im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
